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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments can become “really delusional”, he admits. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I surpass everyone else … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are typically succeeded by a “crash”, where he feels sensitive and ashamed about his actions, leaving him highly sensitive to disapproval from those around him. He first suspected he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms through digital sources – and subsequently diagnosed by a professional. However, he doubts he would have agreed with the assessment unless he had independently formed that realization on his own. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they harbor beliefs of dominance. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve built up. And that world is like, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding NPD

Though people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, it’s not always clear what the term implies the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, noting the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people hide it, due to so much stigma linked to the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “impaired compassion”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to enhance their social status through behaviors including seeking admiration,” the professor says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in Narcissism

Although a significant majority of people found to have the condition are males, research indicates this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” explains an individual who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on digital platforms. It is not uncommon, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

It’s hard for me with handling criticism and being turned down,” she explains, “because if I hear that I am at fault, I tend to switch to defence mode or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her close relationships, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her past. I used to be manipulative to my partners in my youth,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her significant other “maintain an agreement where I told him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if my words are controlling, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and says she lacked positive role models during development. I’ve had to teach myself over the years what is suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I never had that as a kid,” she comments. “Nothing was off-limits when my household were insulting me during my childhood.”

Origins of The Condition

These mental health issues tend to be associated with early life adversity. Genetics play a role,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “tied to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to manage during childhood”, he adds, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “persist in applying those same mechanisms as adults”.

Like several of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The 38-year-old shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and professional advancement, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships lasted. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he says. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t forming deep connections, until he met his current partner of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, struggles with feelings. She is “highly empathetic of the internal struggles in my head”, he notes – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, an assessment was arranged to a clinical psychologist for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions on the public health system (extended treatment is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the waiting list for a year and a half: “They said it is likely to occur in a few months.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, privately, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to comprehend my actions, which is positive,” he comments. Each individual have come to terms with NPD and are looking for support for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of online advocates and the rise of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number